FIVE POINTLESS THINGS THAT HAPPEN ON TWITTER. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

FIVE POINTLESS THINGS THAT HAPPEN ON TWITTER. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Let’s dive straight into this run-down of the fruitless crap that happens within the Twittersphere…

People tagging you, and publicly thanking you for following them

Usually automated, but really — what’s the point of it?

It clogs up the newsfeed, which is already festooned with a multitude of other automated messages.

This tactic doesn’t achieve anything for anyone.

I’m not one of your ‘best’ followers either.

Just stop it.

People publicly thanking you for following them - without them even tagging you

Even worse. This time the post isn't even optimised (in the unlikely event that someone wants to click on your crappy link).

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Bonus douchebag points for imagining you're a marketing influencer. A marketing influencer who can't even tag people into a Tweet. Good one.

Utterly pointless.

Auto-published public declarations of how many followers, Tweets etc your account has mustered over the last day / week / month

This is the kind of data which should sit in the back end of your account, for your eyes only. It’s meaningless to anyone else. Noone cares how popular you are. If anything, it can show how ineffective and invisible your account is. 

Like so:

9 people followed you, 10 people unfollowed you

That’s a result of -1 followers— why the hell would you want to broadcast that?!

Auto-DMs when you follow someone

Hands up; being a novice Twitterererer back in 2016, I set one of these up, simply linking back to my site - in case anyone was interested.

They weren’t.

And I quickly found I wasn’t interested in anyone’s auto-DMs either, with the torrent of CTAs nagging me to email them at this, or connect to them on that, or visit their site.

A Twitter newsfeed is enough to contend with when it comes to the mental effort required in filtering out the valuable stuff, thanks all the same.

TWEETS about how your article’s made someone’s sh*tty 'digital newspaper'

Genuine newspapers are in decline out there in the 'live action' world, so this particular content marketing tactic just appears more and more dated to me, as time shuffles on.

This is from the other week:

Don't know if you've noticed, but it's 2018.

These virtual ball pits of content are often full of random things which don’t really hang together very well. Split into categories or not, my social media article next to one about falls in house prices, or some high-profile suit’s misadventure, isn’t helpful or user-friendly for anyone.

And, when you think about it, those people making a half-arsed attempt at content curation are basically pinching your work and republishing it under their own name / brand without any kind of permission sought from you to do so. The first you hear about it is when, out of faux courtesy, you’re tagged in a post - just like the one above.

It may as well say :

Tweet tweet.

ARE YOU A MARKETING INFLUENCER? WHO KNOWS

ARE YOU A MARKETING INFLUENCER? WHO KNOWS